Busy Writing

I haven’t written here in awhile because I’ve been back to work as a teacher and it has been CRAZY busy.

But I did see something recently that inspired me to crack open a new blog post here on my writing blog.

I am a participant on goodreads.com, love writing book reviews for the books I read. Well, I read this fun (yet silly) romance novel called Hard & Fast. It has a chiseled guy on the cover, wearing jeans and nothing else–and it turns out it is 20th out of 338 on a list somebody made up entitled ‘hottest guy on the cover’.

I don’t know why, but the very thought of such a list has tickled my funny bone. I knew marketing was important…back blurb, title, cover…but this seems to be taking it to a whole new level. My book doesn’t just need a splash of colour, a unique design. It needs…

EYE CANDY!

RIPPLING ABS!

PANTS BARELY HANGING ON AT THE HIP BONES!

So it made me wonder…my novel’s a historical mystery with a dash of romantic quirkiness. A year ago, I would have said, put Colin Firth on the front in his Mr. Darcy uniform & it’s good to go…but now I wonder. You can’t see his abs beneath that button down jacket and his ruffled shirt!

Mr. Darcy, where are your chiseled abs?!

So now I’m picturing…a younger, leaner Colin Firth type-look-alike, sans cravat, waistcoat, ruffled shirt, totally shirtless with gleaming, hairless, muscular chest, standing cockily against a Palladian manse, in a pair of white button down pants (teasingly unbuttoned at the top, barely held up), with gleaming knee high leather riding boots, holding a horse whip in one hand and a bottle of Madeira in the other…

Well? Would you buy my book now?

I started following some publishing types on Twitter, just to see what kind of things they are into…and while they are clearly reasonable folk, with very pertinent advice about writing and publishing…they are also TOTALLY SCARING ME.

It’s not enough just to write the dang book. Then you have to ‘pitch’ it…meaning you throw it at the feet of of a literary agent, as you try to woo them through a perfectly crafted 1 page query letter …

I think about drafting a query letter (with its picture perfect spelling, grammar, word choice, length, focus and ‘personal touch’ quotient) and my eyes glaze over as I go: ahhhhhh!

So you can see I just broke my own rule about mixing publishing with writing (see previous blog: “Publish? Perish?”).   Yes, now I have a tummy ache.

But does that mean I’ll quit following the publishing people on Twitter? Probably not.

I can’t seem to help myself. It’s like rubber-necking at an accident site. I just gotta do it, even though it gives me a bad case of the shakes…

I did say earlier that I think most writers are inherently masochists…

The eventual goal once I’m finished my novel is to publish it.  Of course, I have mixed feelings about that. On the one hand, I want to share and communicate my ideas with other people. (Preferably for pay. Preferably with an elite publishing co.) I want to ‘get my writing out there’ so my hard work and vision can be fully appreciated. (Hopefully.)

But then I start to think: once it’s ‘out there’, people I know might read it. Co-workers. Friends. Family. What are their opinions going to be? Or rather, how will I ever face them again after they’ve read a certain section?!?

So you start to self-edit. Ok, you start thinking. Can’t have that relationship scene in there, it’s too personal. Got to change how that character looks or everyone will recognize it as so-and-so. Can’t have any sex in it either, so you’d better cut the scene in the stables with the riding crop…

Next thing you know, you’ve lost all your juice because now you’re worried about ‘what people think’.

Natalie Goldberg once said something like: “When you’re writing, focus on writing. When you’re publishing, focus on publishing.” I agree with her: mixing both is a bit like mixing coffee with tequila shots.  Best not do it, or you’re going to upset your stomach…