writer's despair

I’ve had this happen only a few times in my life but when it happens, it’s devastating.

Pre-teens: I brought my typewritten story to the beach to share with my friend. Somehow, someway…IT GOT LOST IN THE SAND! We couldn’t find it. *devastating*

High School: I wrote a mystery series starring my  friend and I (and Duran Duran) that was, to my mind, a clever mix of Harlequin romance, Indian Jones movies and Sherlock Holmes. I loaned these typewritten ‘masterpieces’ to someone and she misplaced them. They disappeared. FOREVER GONE! *devastating*

University: Essay due the next day. Computer died. Hadn’t saved it recently. LOST NEARLY EVERYTHING! (this happened a few times) *devastating*

Today: I sat down at the computer to open my file and it said: CANNOT OPEN.

I said: WHAT? and tired again. The computer taunted me. CANNOT OPEN.

I tried my dropbox version–cuz, you know, it’s important to have a BACK UP COPY in case of emergencies. But guess what? CANNOT OPEN.

Doing my deep breathing exercises, I turned the computer off and on. I tried again: CANNOT OPEN.

Now nearing full freak out mode, I texted my (techie) husband. I wrote in capitals and used lots of ‘symbols’: WHAT THE %$%@ IS WRONG WITH THE #@$# COMPUTER IT SAYS MY @#$#@ NOVEL CANNOT OPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He says he will take a look after work.


I must wait.

I’m sure there is a reasonable explanation for this and that it will all work out (Right? Right?). I’ve tried googling a result to the ‘File Can’t Open’ dilemma but my brain can’t seem to process what I am reading: I’m too panicked.

Luckily, I have older versions saved but there is at least TWO MONTHS of work on that particular document that is more or less DOWN THE DRAIN if I can’t get it to open.

Thinking about all of those words I’ve crafted since the start of 2014, all of them just evaporating into thin air… GONE.

Truly, truly: Writer’s Despair.